Losing to Win: So Many Unanswered Questions

Well, it's about half way into 2013 and I've learned quite a few life's lessons. You've  heard of the saying? "You Have to Lose to Win? That seems to be the lesson God is showing me in 2013. I've had some wonderful blessings but some came with a cost. I published my first book which continues to take lots of  work; I met a nice guy and I finally took a vacation.

With the book, I've had to deal with highs and lows but I refuse to give up. With the guy, I've had to choose whether I wanted to accept certain baggage. So how do you maintain a "happy" balance in life? Do you just continue to fight for what you rightfully deserve? Are all disappointments a blessing in disguise? Is losing my job after 5 years a way of gaining more focus on graduate school, promoting my book, resting, planning my life now that I'm about to enter a new decade?

So, what's in store for me for the rest of 2013? I'm excited about God's plan. He knows what's best.

Check back soon...I think I'll be able to have some of those questions answered.



Jacqueline E. Perry
outskirtspress.com/iforgiveyou
*Memorial Day Sale 5/24-5/27 Kindle Edition for only $1.99

Ready for 2013

I've had quite a few challenges in 2012 and lots of lessons learned. I completed goals that I almost gave up on, met wonderful people, and had more heartaches than I expected. While I will continue to plan and execute my goals for 2013, my main focus will be on avoiding mistakes made in 2012.

Most of my life, I've always expected so much of people. Having too many expectations caused me to become disappointed more easily. Going forward, I would like to approach things differently by maintaining higher standards and walking away when those standards are not met instead of allowing my heart to become an easy target for breakage.

Starting NOW, my approach to many life situations have to permanently change:

• Clearly, most people should have no reason to dislike me, but for those who dislike me, I'm learning to accept it and realize that it's their problem, not mine.
• Zero tolerance of poor treatment by others. I MUST realize my worth and not allow myself to be treated like dirt just to gain attention or what I think is "love".
• Continue to focus on self-love.
• Let romantic relationships develop naturally. You can't force it and you can't make a guy feel something he doesn't. NO CHASING.
• Prioritize. Know what and who are the most important. My top priorities are God, family, career and graduate school. Anything or anyone else should be secondary.
• Live a healthier lifestyle. My physical and mental health are very important. As a diabetic, I should exercise and eat better. To maintain mental stability, I should protect my heart by avoiding situations in which I know are dangerous territories.

These are all changes that are not some sort of New Year's Resolutions, but valuable "must-dos" that will help improve my life, giving me room accept true love. May 2013 will mark 10  years of me living as a single woman and I'm "ready to be ready."

Are you ready to be ready?

I'm looking forward to a new year and a new beginning.

Jacqueline. E. Perry
Facebook.com/IForgiveYouByJPerry

Honesty

For me, honesty is a big deal. I strongly dislike liars.  To intentionally lie is just wrong. I admit that I have, at various times in my life, especially as a kid--lied, exaggerated or omitted information. People tend to avoid the truth to either protect themselves or others. They fail to realize that dishonesty hurts more in the long run. It's a cowardly act. When it comes to close family and friends, I want others to be honest with me; however, there is a proper way to approach me without being rude or harsh.

In the world of dating, I'm hit with dishonesty ALL the time. It seems that when a man is not interested, they walk away instead of merely saying, "I am not interested." I respect people who have the courage to admit their feelings.

Proverbs 13:5 ESV   
The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.

There are times when we simply think of lying as a "good" act. Maybe there is a reasonable purpose? Well, maybe...but it's not the right choice. And as I live and experience new people in my life and new situations, I learn that being honest with myself first, allows me to share who I am, completely.

Jacqueline E. Perry
I Forgive You is now available, Kindle Edition....Paperback coming soon.

Allow Change & Take Control

Recently, I’ve faced quite a few bumps in the road. However, I’m thankful for those bumps. In a short time, I’ve allowed myself to grow into a happier person, without letting my circumstances get the best of me. I can’t change people and sometimes I can’t always change my circumstances. But what I can change is how I react to change. The old me would panic anytime I’m faced with difficulty. Now, I deal with things as if a solution is already in place.  I understand that this life was not built just for me. I am not going to like everything people say or do and vice versa.

The challenges I’ve faced in my personal and work life have been hard to handle, but I learned that fighting against things that are supposed to happen only formulates a bigger disaster. I smile often, but I’m learning to smile even more and be thankful for all the great things that are right in my life, with less focus on what's wrong.

I’m changing the way I see life and people. I’m learning my self-worth and what I will and will not tolerate. I have control of my life. Control is a powerful weapon that I never fully took advantage of using. When people treat me like scum, it’s because I allowed them to…Now, I just close those doors on anything or anyone that causes hurt in my life, allowing only open windows of opportunity, growth and positivity to enter.

Jacqueline E. Perry
Facebook.com/IForgiveYourByJPerry

Acceptance

Have you ever wanted something or someone so badly and it just never seems to work out the way you had planned? I am always too eager to give others a second chance after they have done me wrong continually. While giving up in many cases, is not the answer, sometimes listening to your heart will bring on frustration, pain and a waste of time. Learning to accept reality and let go, allows you to think more clearly and make logical decisions.

I am a very persistent person. Once I have a goal in mind, whether it involves friendships, family, romantic relationships, career or education, I stick with it and I continue trying until I get the results I want. However, I understand that what we want is not always right for us. God sometimes has a different plan for us; and our stumbling blocks are just a way to prepare a path in a different direction for something much better than we ever expected. So, although I might be feeling a little down about a few circumstances in my life, I’m looking at the bigger picture and what lies ahead----a huge blessing is coming my way. Soon, the pain I feel over foolish actions of people who don’t deserve me in their lives, will be a distant memory and won’t matter in the new life that I’m preparing for.

Stay Strong, Stay Happy! (…and most of all….DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF).

Proverbs 3:5-6  (NIV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Jacqueline E. Perry
http://www.facebook.com/IForgiveYoubyJPerry

Mistakes

We've all made mistakes at some point in our lives, no matter how big or how small. But when does making those same mistakes stop being mistakes and instead becomes a habit or choice? How do we fix what we've messed up?

Well, for me, I can be "hard-headed". It can sometimes mean getting burned over and over and over again until I finally get it. Crazy huh? Maybe so, but as we get older and live through many of life's situations, we become familar with ourselves and how we fit in to this society that's so full of confusion, low morals and values, violence, and so on. We learn to rise above things that continue to bring  us down.

Eventually, you will get tired of those bad habits and strive to live a happier, more fulfilling life. It's your choice. So, what are you going to do? Sob over your past mistakes or move forward by making better choices that will positively effect you and those around?


Jacqueline E. Perry
http://www.facebook.com/IForgiveYoubyJPerry